Revelations and Inspirations

  

I was so inspired and my eyes opened by this week's edition of Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition.  It comes on Monday night so since I have to be at work at 8 I miss some of the show.  But I did get all the highlights on the Revolution yesterday and their guest was the participant Jacqui McCoy.  I have a fellow blogger who blogged on the show and said why she related to Jacqui's story.  Jacqui weighed 355 lbs.  she and her husband were unable to have children due to her weight.  She showed photos of herself at 13 where she was cute, curvy but not by any means overweight, and full of life.  Then she showed a photo of herself at 15 and she was at least 50lbs. heavier and that shine and zest for life was gone from her expression on her face.  Not only did she shed her clothes to sports bra and bike shorts for the world to see her physical broken body, but she revealed a secret about her past and revealed her soul for the world to see.  Sometimes the latter is more difficult than the first.  She admitted that at age 14 she had been at a party and was sexually assaulted at the party.  She was ashamed, did not want to tell her parents and the attack left her feeling guilty and worthless.  Not only can I identify with Jacqui on a weight loss level and how hard it is to lose weight in the first place, BUT, I related to this story for her revelation of her sexual assault.  She said in her interview on The Revolution that she felt for the longest time that she was good enough for someone to have sex with her but not to be someone's girlfriend.  Blog peeps I cannot tell you how many times I have said that to myself over the years.  Those very words.  It struck a deep chord in me.  I have said on this blog before that working through emotional issues and the physical issues of why we are overweight go hand in hand.  We see this on The Biggest Loser when the contestants are emotionally overwhelmed and breakthroughs happen that help them succeed. 

TRULY AMAZING!!  Jacqui before and look at her now!  365 days between the two.

I was sexually assaulted in my family's home at the age of 19.  I was fortunate to have survived and be here to blog or speak about it today.  The person was a "family" member and it was violent.  I was supposed to have been left for dead in an area known for its high crime and prostitute population but by the Grace of God I survived!!!   I had friends who surrounded me and protected me when my family would not.  Over the years I simply existed.  I never attended counseling, my attacker did not receive civil justice for what he had done even though the evidence was there to prosecute, I was forced into not pressing charges.  Years later I had learned that forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you but for you.  The hatred I felt for this person overwhelmed me for a long time.  It wasnt until I gave myself permission to forgive that I began to heal somewhat.  But my weight skyrocketed after that.  I did exactly what Jacqui talks about in her interview that she had built a wall of fat to protect her from men.  I did the same.  I wasted almost 20 years of my life being sad, scared and overweight and let my rapist take my life from me.  It wasnt until 10 years ago that I felt safe when he died and after that more healing began and look at me now.  I am no longer broken.  I am no longer sad or existing in life.  I took my life back.  Now I intend to live it in the largest happiest most fulfilling way possible.  Jacqui has a new life with her husband and the hope for children.  I have a new life and the possibilities are endless.  So when my friends see my smile, I will tell you its because I am happy for life, I am grateful to have a life and now with my continuous transformation I will live life in an appreciation that I never had before.  Thank you Jacqui McCoy for sharing your story.  You helped me to achieve something I didnt think I could do and that is share my story in a public forum to hopefully help others and to finish the healing process and move on to the next step in this journey.  THANK YOU! 

I have put a link here on the site to the episode of The Revolution with Jacqui's interview.  Her pics are unbelieveable.  The hosts mentioned that after her massive weight loss Jacqui had to have surgery to remove 6 feet (yes that is correct) of skin from her body.  Someday I should be so lucky so I can have skin removal surgery as well.  Every episode of The Revolution also takes one person's weight loss journey and ends it with a makeover and reveal.  Amy is the greatest one I have seen just because she started out close to my weight and now she is AMAZING!  Check this out- you wont regret taking the time to watch. The Revolution 6/13 episode- Amy and Jacqui


I got a message from Biggest Loser Season 12 At-Home Winner Jennifer Rumple on Facebook asking me how I am doing.  This was my response to her and I havent heard back from her yet but I know whatever she tells me will be amazing.  I am sharing my post just to give you some insight that even though I am working hard, plateaus are normal, my feelings of disappointment do happen and its ultimately how I handle them that makes this journey work.  I will keep going as long as it takes but that doesnt mean I dont get impatient every once in a while!

POST TO JEN-
 I am a bit down today. I keep hearing you say trust the process. I workout 4-5 days a week and 2-3 of those days 3-4 hours. I have been following the rules of lean and green after lunch, an apple and berries everyday, water, water, water. I know I am getting the 100g of protein a day so why why why am I not losing???? I am trying so hard. I am pushing hard. :( Today I went to my job where they opened a brand new fitness center for us. my best friend asked me to show her how to use the equipment today. She is down 50+ lbs from 335. and we decided we would do this on wed afternoons together. So... Between my gym, jazzercise, flirty girl fitness, piyo, my pool here @ my apartment, the fitness ctr @ work, kettlebell class@ my gym I dont know what else I can possibly do. I was happy @ the fitness ctr @ work that when I was helping my friend people would come by and ask me questions and tell me how great I have done, etc. But until I am able to crossover into one-derland that is still a pesky 8-9lbs away I am not going to be happy! In August I will have been working on my journey for 3 years. I should have been under 200 By now so my frustration is building and disappointment overwhelming... But I am not giving up I do trust the process its just so so so SLOW! What am I doing wrong here???

I will keep you updated on her response.  She is so helpful and inspirational.  I do want to post a link to the action pics from my Hospital Hill race.  I was in such pain at the end and you can see it in these photos.  Take a look.  Hospital Hill Action Pics from Race

This week saw another workplace Challenge event.  This one was a Pizza Eating Contest at a local pizzeria/bar.  It was fun and NO I did not take part as a participant only as a cheerleader for my team.  I am ready for the Softball event next week.  My confidence is at an all time new high and I actually surprised myself and verbalized something that I would NEVER have done before to a friend and for that I am so glad because it means I am making such wonderful progress and not to mention wonderful new friends :)

This week saw the grand opening of our new fitness center at my place of employment.  I was the first to get in there and use it.  Yesterday I was in there showing my best friend Terisa how to use the machines both weights and cardio.  She enjoyed it and so did I so I am going back today for another round before I have an at work meeting to attend.  As I was in the fitness center many people came and poked their heads in there and I had some ask me questions and also want me to show them how to use the machines and some just congratulate me on my progress thus far.  I hope that as others see me in there they will also become curious and want to use our brand new, free, 24 hour facility.  We work for a truly awesome place and I am so so fortunate.  The place I work has been a life changing reward to me ever since I started there 5 years ago.  So without further ado I must go.  HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK FB PEEPS!! MUCH LOVE!  ***hugs and smiles while trusting the process***  I am off to the "Club" ;)