"Be Sexy. Strut Sexy. Live Sexy. Think of yourself as a voluptuous glamour goddess and walk around letting others know your secret- that you are all that and more"- Stella Ellis
I don't remember the moment in time when I figured this out and began to live that quote from the book "Size Sexy" by Stella Ellis but it was exciting to hear someone say and write an entire book about how to do exactly that. Long before I began down the weight loss path I had a terrible self-image and extremely poor self-esteem. My distorted body image probably began to be an issue around the time I was 13 years old. I remember doing everything I could do to avoid a mirror and now I can't stay out of one! Today I embrace the body I have and the changes it is going through because it is who I am; I exude my confidence and feelings of being sexy and happy in everything I do. I am proud of the hard work I am putting into my body. Why shouldn't I be? Even though the results are slow I am seeing results. Should I continue hide myself behind big baggy clothes and be subdued because I am not the size of a "normal" woman or a media inspired idea of what a woman should look like? NO WAY! Not a minute longer. I have wasted a very long time being miserable about how I look or how much I weigh. Those days have come to an end. Because of my time as a "Fat Girl" I am experiencing many things for the first time so I am learning that the saying "Life begins at 40" is true even though I am not quite 40 yet! :)
Every night when I am getting ready for work, I go through an entire ritual from putting on my makeup to choosing which flower to wear in my hair and what accessories to go with my uniform, etc. I make pouty lips in the mirror with different shades of lipstick until I find the one that looks right, I bat my eyes after putting on my eyeliner and if I am feeling really good about myself that night I might take a pic of myself in the mirror. Once I arrive at work there is a long walk from the back hallway to the work area and the whole way down the main walkway I strut in like its my own private catwalk. It psyches me up for work and helps me put on the show. Confidence is attractive. Now I realize this sounds ridiculous to some and egomanical to others but really its a process of being the best me I can be. Life is too short to live in a world that says because I am curvy and by some preposterous standard that says I am "overweight" that I can't be seductive or sexy. I celebrate my sexy self! There is freedom in self-acceptance. Okay- enough sexy soapbox for one day! LOL
Tonight at Jazzercise there were 2 routines in the first hour class and 3 routines in the second hour class that I really get into because the music is dance music and fun. Having Latina blood and a dance background, the front row in my Jazzercise class gives me a forum to dance and show off. You could never convince me that the front row and Lady Gaga, JLo or Britney playing loudly is not center stage at Carnegie Hall. I dance my heart out. It makes my workout so much fun and I just love shaking it like I am in the club. That is my time and I make the most of it. My instructor in the second hour noticed that I was in the zone because she said "you do need to make a new Youtube video" :p So my new project is to get some video of me done soon to post here. My cousins just told me on Saturday that it is time for me to make a new Youtube video! I did post a link to the video I did back in February of me at Jazzercise on the blog here so check it out if you like.
Saturday I went to my cousin Katrina's High School Graduation party and had party time with my cousins. It was a lot of fun and I am very happy for her because I know she will make a future for herself. The food and the cake were wonderful as usual. My cousin Baby Mike has a wonderful knack for cooking and everything he does is spicy HOT just like my Uncle Mike. It was awesome to see my cousins again- summertime brings us together with lots of parties, picnics and get-togethers.
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| Me and my cousin Katrina the Graduate! |
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| Me and my cousin J.J.- I have a special place in my heart for this little guy! |
I stayed long enough for the fun at the party then I went on to work. Sunday I got to experience something completely new and exciting to me. My friend Terisa had Track Passes and Tickets for the STP 400 NASCAR race at the Kansas Speedway. I have been somewhat of a closet NASCAR fan for some time now and I was excited to see this first hand up close and personal. There were no worries that I wouldn't get my workout in after the first few minutes getting parked. People from all over the country came to see the race. We got to see all of the pre-race activities out on the track, we walked miles from the parking lot, to the track, around the entire fan walk and up a ton of stairs to our seats. Once we left the race we walked what seemed like forever until the car was located LOL! Drivers I like include Dale Jr., Tony Stewart and Casey Kahne just to name a few. The National Guard presented the colors and the Star Spangled Banner started the race off then the roar of the engines and the speed of the cars all together was just amazing! Best new and fun experience I have had in a long time.
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| Me standing on the track at the Kansas Speedway being my hotter than the 95 degree weather self!! Check out that pose! |
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| Me with a display car on the Sprint Fan Walk |
. I had fun at the race but I only got 5 hours of sleep in before going into work that night. :( I was pretty happy with myself today since I got in 2 hours at Jazzercise and a 3 mile walk with Terisa in. I felt so much better after some sleep. Tuesday plans are to Jazzercise this morning, swim this afternoon, boxing late afternoon and possibly a walk in the park again in the evening. I also have to make time to go by the cemeteries and pick up my flowers. My mission and dedication to my new goal time are in full swing.
Have a wonderful week everyone and have fun because it's summertime and life is too short not to celebrate every breath and every moment!
"Always say to yourself, It's great to be me! I am fierce and fabulous, big and beautiful, smart and sexy, feminine and fantastic, curvaceous and confident, sexy and sultry!"
- Stella Ellis
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