Ok, when things get tough, perhaps its time to reflect on where you have been and where you are going. I am going to start with how I felt yesterday. I posted this on my Facebook page:
"FB I am in a terrible mood today. I feel down on myself. Long week for me loaded with terrible food choices, not enough sleep or exercise and disappointment with my lack of weight loss. I still havent adjusted well to my new days off-STILL! It takes me forever... Sad and upset with me and my birthday is only 7 weeks away and i need 15lbs gone by then... :( "
Food choices. Well, I have been better about tracking but then stopped on 3/16 and picked it up again on 3/29. I journaled that I was struggling with PMS, but I had eaten pizza and drank wine on Tuesday 3/28, then on Wednesday 3/27 I went to the Crab Leg Buffet at work with friends. UGH! It was all good and I loved the company and every minute of it but this set me back. On the positive on each of those days I did do something active. On 3/27 I worked out in the pool for an hour and on 3/28 I went out to Independence Jazzercise and worked out in an hour class there. So 3/29 I picked myself up and started to track again and went to the park to walk, went to jazzercise for an hour class and 3/30 I did the same, went to jazzercise that morning but then I stopped tracking when I went on my day trip to my cousin's wedding. The food was awesome but again not really what I should have eaten and then of course wedding cake and a lot of sitting in the car. On the positive I did dance the Cupid Shuffle at the reception then went out dancing with friends upon my return to Kansas City that night after the wedding.
So with that said, I pulled myself together and went to my mother's house and helped her with some things and got in some stairs then I went and did a 30 minute Jazzercise express class and finally made it to my Ballet Body class there as well that started last week. I love putting on my ballet slippers- its just too awesome. It lifted my mood but I know that I have a lot of work to do.
I have also been down on myself because as of this week I made the decision to pull out of the weight loss competition at work. These competitions actually hinder my weight loss efforts. I get panicked about weigh ins, I do careless things and get discouraged so easily. The final straw was when I came into work on Friday night to weigh in and I was dressed in my weigh in clothes, empty of food and water, etc. so I could get the very best result and there was no one there to weigh me. The weigh in began at 8pm and that is when I have to start work, SO, I wasnt about to starve myself any longer or weigh in wearing my heavy uniform and spanx, etc. It was then I resigned myself to not continue. So as not to lose sight of the real goal which is to be 15 pounds lighter by 40, I decided the best thing for me to do was to stop the competition. I have mixed emotions about it but I know deep down its the right thing for me.
Then today as I was editing the photos from my Cousin Hallie's wedding that I attended on Saturday I decided to look at some old photos from when I was 300+ pounds. I will post them here for you The first one is me and my cousin Joanne Rodriguez back at a family get together in August 2008. I miss her all the time and think of her always. I have a difficult time talking about her because it brings immediate tears to my eyes... The second one is me just before I started working at the casino in 2007. The third one is me accepting the Employee of the Year for Back of House 2008 (taken in Feb. 2009) at my place of employment. I looked like the side of a house.
So with those hideous pics posted now I must post one of me currently. This one was taken of me with my cousins at the wedding on 3/31 and another of me on 3/27 when I went out with friends. Love the yellow top!
I can see where I have made progress since then but it has taken me so long to lose over 100 pounds and I am still wanting more but I have let social situations really get in my way with food. I think I have the working out under control. I get in 3-4 days a week and at least 2 times in each of those days. I am still looking ahead to my 40th birthday but really want 15 pounds by then and as I said above I only have 7 weeks to get it done.
As wedding, family get-together, ball game, social season begins I need to be conscious of the choices I am making as far as what I eat.
I also have the Trolley Run to look ahead to on 4/29 and I am going to start today with training to run. I downloaded a calendar from sparkpeople.com a while back that is a day by day how-to on getting ready for a 5k. I am putting the link on here for all to see. Check it out. 5k your way
My goals for the week are to get in 3 jazzercise classes and I already have 2 in, swim 2x, attend Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday ( I really need this!), walk at the park at least 2x and track, track, track. The struggles continue but I have been at this for over 2 years now and I cannot quit. Frustration sometimes is part of the game.
Have a wonderful week everyone! Till Next time! I am off for a walk because today is the beginning of National Start Walking Week! Here is a link to find out more about that too.National Start Walking Day
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